The No Judgement Zone!
Updated: Mar 26
Are there things you feel you're always being judged for?
I had this thought last night as I was trying to decide how I really want my voice to be heard within by business. I know my main goal for Cottage Market is to encourage empowerment through self-acceptance. But as I thought on this further, I questioned the HOW. How else can I support women to let go of worrying about other's opinions? How can I just let you feel invited and comfy in our Cottage? (Because legit - I hate going to someone's house where I have to ask if I can leave my shoes on or question if my kids should be sitting on that pretty sofa). If I haven't said it enough yet - I live for comfort!
So aside from our amazing products to uplift women on the daily, here is another idea I want to try to carve out a little place where women like me can feel free. Free to be ourselves, free to let go of anxiety, free to put ourselves first even just for a second - without the inevitable guilt that usually follows. I'm looking for this post to be a place where we can support one another to share our truths (big or small) as some non-sappy form of solidarity. Where we WON'T be judged for what we say. EVER.
Hence the NO JUDGEMENT ZONE!
So welcome friends. Let me kick us off by sharing what I feel I get judged for and what I no longer give a shit about :)
1. I feed my kids cereal or box mac n cheese for dinner probably 3-4 times/week. Not always cereal, but something close. Like I literally pour it from a box and there it is.
As a full-time working mother who also takes on the majority of the household chores, I despise coming home to cook. You know, that rush from the door where the school bags are on the floor, dirty dishes you didn't get to before you all ran out of the house in the morning, dog needs to be let out, homework, showers, blah blah blah. It's hard to find time to cook a big meal. And the few times I do....my kids won't even eat it! I'm sorry, but by 6pm my patience train is pulling outta the station. I feel like the judgement comes in the form of someone stating "my kids are malnutritioned, or unhealthy". Guess what? Not true!!! They are healthy human beings who eat nutritious shit throughout the day. One meal is NOT neglect, thank you. And it allows me time to actually focus on them and their day and to keep my sanity (if I've ever even had any).
2. I have so much hair.
I literally have more body hair than my husband. Yeah, that's a fun one. "Gross" right? Whatever. I've dealt with this monster for so long that I only just recently started admitting it out loud...thirty six years later. Obviously I was aware people knew it existed (considering how much a girl gets made fun of for that shit), but I felt like saying it out loud was just one more time I had to deal with it when I've dealt with it enough already. But that's not really accurate though, because being open about it and no longer carrying the weight of "gross" has allowed me to deal way better! So yes, I'll laser/shave/tweeze, ya know, and maybe that's not "fully accepting" my PCOS-Italian fate, but it's my way of dealing. I admit, and I deal. The end. Who are you that has no body issues I say? Maybe those peeps shouldn't be judging me.
3. I swear in front of my kids.
I have a potty mouth. As my mother likes to remind me, "it's unbecoming of a lady". Except that my parents didn't really raise ladies. They raised some badass chicks that are livin' life. I'm not one for prim and proper, but I am able to be respectful and professional...when the time requires. But when I'm at home, I'm at home. And I'm gonna be me. Which means droppin' some F-bombs. A lot of F-bombs actually. It is just a part of my speech pattern and a habit I find hard to break. My kids don't swear in public so I feel like a minor mom-win on that one but this is how my house runs, and we're ok with it. If it's not your home, then it's not your house to judge.
4. I feel like I've already admitted way too many parenting 'fails' on my list.
Only made it to #4 and my mothering skill are on here twice. That's 50%. And I'm sure I could find some more funny stuff to add but maybe someone will "JUDGE" me for being a bad mother. Guess what? I'm an awesome mother! It's in my blood and what I live for. My house is slightly carefree but still has structure, boundaries, and love - a whole lot of love! So please don't judge off of just two little comments.
5. I am ALWAYS slightly uncomfortable in one-on-one situations (unless it's with my family).
As a girl who was painfully shy growing up (remember the body hair, got made fun of issue...). I have been able to turn that around and be quite an extrovert in adulthood, but that shyness still lingers. I hate making new friends because I sometimes think I will annoy the other person or not get along with them. Yep...still workin on the 'love yourself just as you are thing'. That's why I want to promote and share it so much!!! I know I'm not alone. I think some of my one-on-one fear also stems from me being a twin. As a kid, I always had my sister. We shared everything (whether we liked it or not!) and I was almost never alone. Thank God she was outgoing or I probably would never have had any friends. But here I am, 36, and still struggle with small talk. That shit is really annoying.
So, while I know at times I can come off a little brash or bitchy, that's not my intent. Maybe it's my swearing, or maybe it's my constant self-reminder that I shouldn't give a shit that may make me sound aggressive or combative, but it's how I speak. So I am wholeheartedly asking you up front:
Please don't use this NO JUDGEMENT ZONE as a bash board because we won't allow it.
But, please do just feel free to share your thoughts or take a load off, in a positive light, swear words or not!
We encourage you to come just as you are, to build a sense of community, solidarity, and acceptance.
Ready to jump on in with us??! Post in the comments below!