Why You DON'T Need Resolutions!
Updated: Mar 26
Why are these still a thing?! I feel like I've heard enough shift away from these but then some days I'm not so certain. Can we just remind ourselves once more why New Year's Resolutions should be replaced with goals?
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I mean, it's a well known fact that more than 75% of people who make some sort of New Year's resolution will never stick to it. It's an absolute given. And yes, in my younger years I always made the generic "lose weight" resolution where I would actually stay on this gravy train for about 6 months till I fall off. Every time.
Two things to note here:
1. I needed to learn about self confidence and feeling comfortable in my skin, as "losing weight" isn't really a resolution you should make. Try "getting healthy" if you're really determined to make a resolution. It focuses more on your mindset and health than relying on your looks and depending on SOMEONE else's version of beauty.
Remember: you are beautiful just as you are, at any size!
2. I never really put any concrete thought or plan behind my resolutions. They were just a task to get done or stick with. I didn't approach them from a perspective of requiring a mindset shift.
So we will delve deeper into this mindset business in a minute. But what I really, really want to tell you right now is that instead of a resolution.... you need to make a goal!!
What's the difference right?
GOAL vs. RESOLUTION
Well, turning to my trusty friend Google, I immediately came across Melissa Brode who distinguishes a goal vs resolution in an amazing way! She defines both as this:
Resolution: a firm decision to do or not to do something.
Goal: the object of a person's ambition or effort; an aim or desired result.
Which one seems more achievable and has the possibility of pumping you up? As a full-time working mom of two, I'm likin' my flexibility and grace with the "Goal" option here. Any takers?
A decision to do something is just that. A decision you make and go for it. A goal is an aimed desire or result. You need to find the path if you're aiming for something, right? Shifting our mindset to finding a path, or creating one.
So no, goals and resolutions are not a requirement at New Year's, but to be happy in life, we do need to set some sort of goal(s). The trick is to make your goal something that will bring you happiness all while not overextending yourself! Push you, yeah. Burn you out and piss you off? No.
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GOALS ARE a MINDSET my friend.
And a mindset is what really gets your shit together in order to pursue and reach the life you want! A mindset is really just how you look at things. Take for example two mindsets towards the same goal. I've put together an easy example below for you to follow.
The Goal: To keep life simple this year but still treat yourself and feel good in your own skin!
Mindset 1: I am a mom. It's my responsibility to provide for my family. It's not fair if I take time away from them to pamper myself. That's just being selfish. So I'm going to just buy something quick from the drug store and call it a day. Goal accomplished.
Mindset 2: I am a busy mom and it's my responsibility to take care of my family. The only way I can truly care for them is if I have the right state of mind myself. I will find a simple way to pamper myself that makes me feel relaxed and more confident in my own skin. If I feel better and less stressed, I won't snap at the kids and I will really have the capacity to focus. I can provide a lot for them now. Goal accomplished.
So...obviously you don't need a PhD to figure this one out. We've all read the posts about taking care of yourself first and blah blah blah. But it's so true right?!! And that all starts with your mindset!
Do the work
Now to be fair, a mindset shift doesn't happen over night. It takes practice but it's totally doable. You can start thinking your way to a simpler life and achievable goal in days!
AND, once you recognize the mindset shift that needs to happen - you just did 90% of the work, legit!
Yep, you heard that right. Catch those sneaky little negative thoughts in their tracks and you just made it 90% of the way through to a simpler, happier mindset and goal! You can make a goal this year that will set you on a path to happiness, or keep you on the path if you're already there. YOU CAN DO THIS my friend. I believe in you and your goals, and I know you will believe in them too!
So, if you're still with me here, which one are you shootin' for this New Year's?
A goal or a resolution?